Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
