What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
