I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Well I just put wine in my tea
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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