It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
