lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
