I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Randomize
