Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
