found the other keg... it's in the tree
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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