So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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