Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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