What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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