shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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