I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
