did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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