I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
