we're blogging at a bar
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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