i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
she woke up with a sticky ear
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
