I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
birth control should be required to get into college
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
