I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
