Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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