It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
