totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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