they said they heard you say put it in my butt
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
