he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
