your thong is hanging out like whoa
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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