Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
