i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It's never too late to be topless.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
