UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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