Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
you will always have a special place in my vag
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
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