Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize