in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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