That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
