Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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