you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
