We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize