my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
