I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Dignity is for republicans.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
