Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I had to cum in my sink.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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