Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize