Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
