This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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