Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
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