Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
