Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
