omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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