Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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