Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
