handjob tips. give me some.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
i've created a new STD.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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