if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
