what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I think a kid would responsible me up
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
