So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
