The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
