I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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