The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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