Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
