We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
