Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
