I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
