Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
