Where is the hickey?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
