Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
