I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
wow bdsm is so cute
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
