she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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