I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
How external is "for external use only"?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I need water and some morals
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
