i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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