so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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